If you were forced to wear one outfit over and over again, what would it be?
Hey…
I hope all of you are doing well…
An outfit that I have to wear forever…?
Already being an excessively sweating individual, on top of that the rising heat in this country, adding to it, the switching seasons, the ongoing monsoon and extreme humid conditions, makes me tired and sweaty first thing in the morning, so, replacement of clothes becomes a mandate at least once a day,
I hope you understand how it is for me…
To wear a single outfit forever, I need it to be cool and airy, and I can’t wear something black, If I have to repeat it forever…
My ideal choice would be slate gray or some faded blue like an old denim, (Just its color), A T covering my upper body, and charcoal gray pants that are stretchy and breathable, a light bomber jacket colored black to top it off making it a finished outfit, with breathable shoes, maybe sneakers that are black in color, the dirt isn’t visible on them (regular use), AND a light backpack that has ample storage for me to move and travel with it, keeping my essentials on me all the time, (Like I usually do)…
And if, I have to keep it on me, I will need some supplies that will keep me clean and the outfit too, That’s where the backpack comes in handy, where I keep all of my much-needed supplies, which help me with daily things or stuff that I need to carry, As I travel from one place to another, Making this my ideal outfit…
Well, The country that I belong to, has very deep-rooted spiritual beliefs, which makes it one of the most populous, religious based countries in the world…
A place like India, which is the birthplace of many religions, including,
Hinduism
Jainism
Buddhism &
Sikhism
There are widespread religious beliefs around the place I exist, A big Hindu temple within 500 meters of my residence, A mosque within the same distance, And within a 10-minute drive, a Sikh temple called a Gurudwara, and a Jain temple too within that, and crossing the gurudwara you’ll find a church too (In opposite directions tho)…
I mean, all the hustling bustling goes on during the day, and by the night, those people who sat Infront of the religious places, begging for money, become the richest as they buy alcohol and other intoxicants, and do it yet again Infront of the said religious place and take rest on the pavement or the sidewalk, when nothing else matters, because they have already eaten their full, during the day…
This is the enabling that religion has done, Of course, when asked it’s said, “They’re not responsible for what goes outside the premises…” like they can’t physically enforce the stoppage of this, by appointing people whose sole responsibility is to deter such people…
But, things like this happen, Again and again, because they just up and move themselves away from the area, the area which they have to “keep clean”, the entire crowd moves, and the same thing happens, a few meters away… (Us Indians and our way to hack anything’s that’s enforced right…?)
Coming back to the prompt’s question…
The things like these, the hacks, the people who become these addicts by the night, the people who among the chaos, become the thieves, snatchers, took a long time ago my faith on religion…
The way, the internal management of a religious place functions, is the same as a business, they do take up cost cutting, the prasad (the food presented to the deities), is used and recycled, for those who don’t take it home, and sold to the same devotees yet again…
Being one of the most religious countries, and praying the G0ds and G0desses, and on the other hand, we hear news of a girls being brutally Rped, people being killed over little things, family disputes making people kill their own flesh and blood, but, on the other hand, this becomes a birthplace of religions, and a hub of spiritual beliefs…
The stark contrast, in what’s told, what’s heard, what’s seen, and what’s reported…
A toast to chaos, and such a widespread nature of ill management of it…
Cheers 🥂
Ashamed Waakiye🤍
A star here, Another there, another one, where it shouldn’t have been, A havan, an offering, and all of it shall go away…
The already G0d fearing, Thinks, “G0d forbid, another problem…” So, they set the appointment, and a priest appears, at the given time…
Taking place of a G0d, Or his minion, he prays and prays, and burns incense, using wood using camphor, creates a place packed with soot, and smoke, a heavenly fragrance it leaves, until its cleared, and things become the same, same as the day before…
The same chaos, the same panic, the same things, repeat the next, and the same problems, become the common, like it was the day before…
Returning to your work is bothersome, more for those who are already tired, a few hours deep into this days work, All the best for what’s left, much less what’s more to come…
About the prompt of this day; its a good one, but, yet here I am exposing myself yet again…
There’s no such thing as self-care, It just plain hard stubbornness, (In my language its called ZIDD), its the only thing that has kept me going, A stubbornness to become someone, someone better, better than who I was day before, and to a new tomorrow, that will come the next…
There is no such thing as self-care because, it’s a known fact that I have to get things to work the next day, even if I feel like not to, there’s a mindset that this works on, maybe on or after achieving a spot or a pedestal, where one belongs, one can take rest and give self the much needed, “Self-care”…
But, If that thing or an idea that is much bigger, and is replaced by another one the next moment, there’s no time to rest, or sit, or contemplate the things that one has achieved, that’s why, and that’s how things have been with me, leaving me with enough time to rest, and wake up with a positive mindset, ready to conquer another day…
On the days off, the actual self-care version of myself kicks in, I usually wake up late, late enough for people in my house to question my existence, And when I do wake up, I wake up hungry like its been weeks, And eat and spend day leisurely, By going out with family or friends, and by the time evening hits, all of us are at home, at ease, and as we talk and have dinner, enjoy and talk about things that happened over the week, and discuss and plan the week ahead…
By the time it ends its time to sleep, and prepare the challenge that is the next day…
That’s how it all goes, that’s how my self care goes, What about you…?
I hope this is a safe place, but most of my time is wasted doomscrolling, without even a single thought, it just feels like there isn’t a purpose, there is not a single purpose behind life itself…
It just feels like that I try to snatch time, within all of the limited time that I have left, within these 24 hours in this day…
Just this day, I woke up at 4 a bad dream perhaps, and mindlessly scrolled for around an hour, scrolling reels, some of those give me some happiness, some of them make me sad, but, they bring me up, and throw me down, to keep me in this vicious cycle, Of being constantly hooked, looking at them, one after another, until my phone runs out of battery, Or I drain myself enough…!
The constant need, of having something playing, in this ear, or, having something to see, that bombards with some valuable information, or useless, that won’t help me ever, but, the need, the unreal need of having something playing, maybe a comedy skit, maybe some informative video, to pass the time, or just something that fills the emptiness in the room, making it some noise, or some tunes playing in the background, that deter me from thinking anything/everything, at a certain point of time…
A never-ending rant, that exists within this mind, to leave it and pick it up, making me forget crucial memories, because I can’t seem to remember them anymore, like moments in my childhood, some of them are non-existent, some of them are blemishing, some of them are still there but fading, and some of them come back after remembering hard enough, but, none that is remembered off the top my head…
You’re grateful if you do, and if you don’t, in the same boat we all are…
Cheers 🥂
Love Waakiye 🤍
Another scroll, another relatable thing, Even though none of them are, it just passes my time…
As I stared at the clock, it stuck 5:30, it had already been too much, an hour and thirty minutes, scrolling…
But, it’s because there’s a need to replace, replace all things, Everything that surrounds, and this one is the cheapest, because the price is paid, not in the form that is visible at present…
A price that is paid, paid with those forgotten memories, by replacing those happy and sad times, with what brings these short bursts of happiness, becoming an addict to them, waiting for free time, or snatching it from regular schedule, a moment here, sitting on the can, or going out for a smoke break, or going out to eat because you forgot to pack yours, because of waking up late…
Maybe, maybe it isn’t so bad after all, but, the memories that I forget, or I’m trying to, maybe, just maybe, it will help, in eroding the bad ones, Unaware, the good ones entangled together are going away with them…
Being a typical Indian kid, we all carried lunches as soon as we started school, and that is where we were exposed to experiences, new things that we didn’t see before, flavors that were new to the palate, never ever tried before, in this life…
So, what we used to do as kids, when the recess hit, we used to gather at a selected seat, and open our lunches at the same time and whatever each one of us felt appealing we took a bite out of, and after that, it was like clockwork, we used to try a bite or a nibble of food and then took more bites out of the things that we liked…
One of the things that I remember, that’s very dear to my heart has been Pulao…
It’s a steaming mixture of rice with vegetables of choice in it, which was my all-time favorite, all of my friends loved it too, So, I barely got a bite, it was rarely that it was made, and that too when That lunch box opened, and I took out a bite, it was then snatched out of my hand, like it wasn’t even in my hand to start with, there were some fights, some persuasion, sometimes it was admitting defeat, sometimes it was a win because they brought something good, and then someone else used to make them run for their food…
Simple and happy times…
Another one was chickpea stir fry, My mom used to prepare this in two boxes, because whenever I used to take this one, I BARELY got a bite, I mean BARELY even a single bite got into my mouth..
It was so mouth watering that one of the lunch box used to just disappear, as soon I told them, what I brought today, so, I used to hide one of the boxes well under my books and told them I only brought one lunch today and they used to feel bad, telling me that, I can have their lunch, but, it was worth seeing their expression, as I pulled out another one of them, from my bag, hidden from everyone..
Whenever the taste of the Pulao or chickpea stir fry comes to the mind, all of a sudden, the memories hit back like a wave hitting the seashore, again and again, reliving the days of my childhood, in an instant, as a flashback of all the fun we used to have…
To all of the good times spent together, I hope all of them are doing well and are living a blessed life…
Let me take you on a journey to my schooling years and my first crush…
A hot summer day, A new admission she was, A little while later, She entered our class,
She didn't just enter in the class, it was my heart that she came into...
A hot summer day it was...
Fixed seating for girls it was, As she sat in the middle row, right next to mine, greeting everyone around, and asking their names, all of them replied with theirs, as she turned around facing me..
It was magical, she shined, her face glistening, with little specks of sweat, above her lips, and her cheeks, which she cleaned with a handkerchief regularly...
Those eyes, it felt like I took a fall while sitting in that seat, her eyes, bowl of honey, and in sunlight they turned amber...
A hot summer day it was...
As I spoke my name, and she repeated it, within a fraction of a second, something that I carried for my entire life, My name, which wasn't appealing, sounded mesmerizing from her mouth...
As the Roll call began, On answering mine, I just waited, looking at her, shyly, not to disturb her, or creep her out, But, to make her feel at ease....
A hot summer day it was...
As the lectures began, and she keenly listened to all that was being said, penning down occasionally, what she thought was important, into her notebook, on seeing from afar, she wrote in cursive, and that too fast, Impressed beyond the skill, I began, penning down that the teacher said, but, my mind went blank until I looked at her, how she wrote, so beautifully she wrote...
A hot, hot summer day it was...
After a few periods passed, and it was the time for lunch break, all of the friends that I had, came to my desk as we opened up the tiffin, that we brought, staring at the group she asked her bench mate, "What happened...?"
And she just told her to get up, And move to that seat, as everyone opened their lunches, our usual routine, a face popped within the crowd, it was "H", Her bench mate and a good friend of mine, she asked me what did I bring for lunch today...?
Before she could say anything, she pushed in and took a bite out of my lunch, She told me it was delicious, As she slyly picked up my lunch and took it without anyone noticing but me, she took a spoonful and shoved it in her mouth, telling her, how does it taste...? Tell me isn't Waakiye's mom the best cook in the world isn't it...?
As she chewed it slowly, savoring each bite, as the flavors mixed in her mouth and gulped it down, her eyes sparked, it was a common dish that was prepared in every household, but, there was something different about this one, as she took another bite, and then gave it back to me, as I raised my hand to take it from her,
Our hands touched briefly, enough to as she was handing me the box, a soft and delicate touch, as she pulled me closer and told me, they are absolutely delicious...
A hot, hot summer day it was...
As she opened her lunchbox, it was just plain jam sandwiches, as she began eating them in peace while sitting in her seat, I got up and walked towards her, Man, I never get sandwiches when I ask my mom, Can I get a bite, as she handed me a diamond shape that was precut, before making the sandwiches, as I took a bite and told her, it was amazing, as she looked up in hope, Thinking, how can something this simple be, delicious...? As she looked at my face, as I enjoyed each and every bite of it...!
You can have lunch with us, we all share and have what we like from other's tiffin, as she got up and thanked me, as I made space for her, and she began eating with us, from that day on...
A hot, hot summer day it was, And I found someone, who looked like an Angel in a human form...
As she sat in her seat, And thanked me for the lunch and the invitation into the group...
OH, on seventh heaven I was, As I spent the whole day, adoring her, watching her quirks, as she smiled when our eyes locked...
A hot, hot summer day it was, all the while I felt a winter breeze as she looked at me, The best, one of the best days it was...
I hope the weekend is going well, and you wake up well rested, this morning and don’t have the buzz from the last night…
The oldest thing that I own and use… It will be one of my oldest devices that i still use to this day, the trusty Samsung S7 edge, its been used ruggedly ever since it came into my hand, in the late 2016…
It’s been something that I’ve cherished, loved and bought with real passion and discussion with those in my surroundings, and when I got it in my hand, it felt like I held a cherished treasure, for which I worked really hard, (Well not really…), but, it was one such passion that I had, and it was the one thing that was with me, Everywhere I went, and whenever I needed it was there for me…
That was the one device where all of this started, like, my writing, all of my beginnings are a part of that device, where I started all of this from scratch, and all of it is a journey from nothing to something to whatever I am today…
With that being said, it’s still with me, and on it I am playing the tracks that I love through a speaker, which brings out fresh feelings as this harsh sunny morning curses us…
Cheers 🥂
Love Waakiye 🤍
After spending night, with adequate and sleepless, I found, my cherished phone to be my partner…
Through thick and thin, the ups and downs, welcoming a new member, And a few of them passing away, it was always there with me…
The first crush and its addressing of my feelings the cues that I saved on my phone, became the helping hand for me, as I flipped it, to see what I had to say as my words fumbled…
But, that same became a helping hand when I was, When I was all alone, within this world, within this mind I was trapped, without a single clue, as I prepared a document, citing my untimely end, and how it was no-one’s blame, or everyone’s but mine, and now when I look at it, a sensible chuckle stays on this face…
After battling fever, the intense body pain, that went up to my head, and down to my toe, like a continuous flow of blood, this day has brought peace, and with it, a sense of relief…
SO, here I am answering, yet again a prompt, that forces to think, think beyond, time and the world that we live in…
One of my favorite moment, is reliving the day when I met my first crush after a long time, like 5 years long time, when I forgot all about it, by pushing it in the back of my mind, and forcing it with responsibilities and problems of the family, until, that day…
The day I saw them, traveling all alone, with an extreme look of dread and tiredness on their face, I was boarding the same train going the same direction as they were, I gently said to them, “Life has had you by the neck hasn’t it…?” I already had an excuse planned as I wore an earphone in the right ear, if they thought, I was making fun of them, but, on seeing me, those eyes shined up…
They raised their hand, and asked me, how I’ve been, after telling them I’m well, and on asking if they were doing good..? they gave me a spin, does it look like I’m doing well, A wrinkled white shirt, which was coming out of their back, and a face that can only be described, by intense stress, pain and tiredness…
So, I asked them, for a coffee, because the shop was right next to the platform, (Delhi residents know what I’m talking about…) So, we sat down, ordering two, and on asking if they needed something to eat with it, After I already ordered a brownie slice and two pre-packed cookies, and as we began discussing things…
Family and their well-being, the people they’re still connected to, the work life or its balance, which I felt was nonexistent, or something that was new in their life…?
After a while, our coffees came and we began sipping it, and then I realized, The dream that I had, way back, like years back, came true that day…
We are sitting together, having coffee, discussing our present and the near future, thinking all of this was a dream, I pinched myself on my thigh, and guess what, it was a reality, where we, my high school crush and I, were happy, sitting and having coffee…
And they brought a brownie, steaming it was, and with a dollop of French-vanilla ice-cream, as they remembered, didn’t you make brownies once we had a project together in a group, and you brought it with you to a common friend’s place…?
Oh yes, I do remember, The taste of it still lingers on my mind, even though they were not warm, but, they were to die for, I think, Almost all of us remember the taste, because it was something that was not popular back then, but, like really, it was something else…
As we began taking a bite, and finishing the coffee, telling each other our hardships and good things, as we got up, she headed towards the counter to pay for it, unknown I had already done that, (just like I used to in school time…)
As we headed out, Handing her a tissue, to clean the corner of the lip which had some chocolate from the brownie, as she took it and began cleaning it, looking just as beautiful as the day i last saw her in school…
As the train came and we boarded it, Telling her, the station I am supposed to get down is just the next one, and she stays a few stations down the line, thinking I didn’t have anything to do, I told her, I’ll drop her off to her station and catch a returning one…
Shyly she agreed, as we talked about things we loved, before we could begin another conversation, her station was here, as she pulled me with her hands around my arm, as the train was about to close, as we walked down the steps and, I watched her go, turning often, and waving me bye…
After she disappeared from my sight, I began my journey back home..
One of the most favorite moments that I ever had…
Cheers 🥂
Love Waakiye 🤍
And, just like that, I saw, A familiar face…
A memory, a few years that were spent together, were lived within a few seconds, in which it was all happenings, all were her memories…
Some were happy some were sad, As we relived them once again, and another dream of mine, a coffee with her, without any disturbances…
There were none, none that would disrupt our peace, our time, as we discussed, tiredness of the whole day, just whooshing away in thin air, as we drank our coffee and shared a brownie…
The way back home, looking into those eyes, I saw something that was still there, a memory and a spark that we shared, unknown to it, she shared her details, as she tapped her phone to mine, and within a moment, we were connected yet again…
Well, there is nothing notable about today, because I’m writing this as fever spikes yet again, and, my whole body feels like it’s been wringed out like a wet cloth, to remove excess water…
All in, I’m spending another day at home, feeling extremely tired, incapable of moving, but, here I am writing this at 11:25 am, on a hot day of June, and its 13th and a Friday…
The most notable thing that happened today was a conversation, with my mom, as She sat with me and brought me the morning coffee, (For which I’m forever grateful…)
This wasn’t the usual conversation, like how I was feeling, or, is there something that I needed, but, we were discussing a scenario…
“How, all of us are hardwired to have the instinct, when we are supposed to be fed as a kid, (mother’s milk), and the science that goes behind it, and after that, the conversation shifted to Procreation…
“How it is a natural instinct,” even when someone is physically disabled or not mentally sane, they still have a wish, a yearning to be held, touched, caressed, and their feelings met, and to portray them in a way that’s appealing to your s/o, or someone you’re seeing…
And somewhere along the lines the conversation went downhill, it shifted to how, when those needs aren’t met, they’re replaced by violent tendencies, where we see, woman/girls being 🍇, just because they saw someone walking along, which seemed an easy target…
But, I interjected, that all of the focus and blame has been shifted to the wrong gender ; How, all of it happens when we tell the female gender to cover themselves up, from head to toe, and even after that, they become victims, so we are clearly blaming and correcting the wrong gender, when a push and an effort is needed to make the change in the mindset of men, and when that happens, we can start to see a change in the environment that, has been corrupted so much.
Cheers 🥂
Love Waakiye 🤍
A cup of coffee, and discussions beyond, beyond the grasp of timid mindsets, where a mother makes a change, to introduce to the child, a concept that’s widespread yet wrongly understood…
Over the cup of coffee, we discussed, the faults within, a need to reform the mindset, and from that, we find, the original source of fault…
“Coddling those, whose actions were to be punished…” but, without a clue, the entire blame was shifted, to her clothes, to her advances, to her ignoring things that happened in the surroundings, and when, something horrible happened, all of its happening, the stalking to, her rejecting, to his taking it on his image, to doing the worst thing possible…
Well, I am not, recovering from a fever that went down last night, and flared back up this morning, and this afternoon after waking as the power went off.. THRICE, In a matter of couple hours, sweating myself off, and now, its 2:33 as I’m writing this one, still feeling sleepy, and waiting for light to come back on, so, I can upload this one in peace…
And now, the things that I’m passionate about…
Have you ever seen someone, do something that they’re passionate about, they don’t, They cannot give a single thought about who or what they’re surrounded by, it would be a chest full of treasure, and they won’t bat an eye…
That is something called as being passionate..
Well, the only thing that I’m more passionate about after this writing is Gaming…
Do you believe when you see a full gown adult, following gaming as his passion, it seems cringe to many from all walks of life..
I’ve seen people call me crazy and tell me, I’m just wasting my money when I save for something like an upgrade of a part, or simply save to buy a game that will be coming out soon, but, when people see this, hear about this, all they imagine is a child, whose clicking clacking at the remote or the keys of the keyboard…
But, all of this comes after writing, all things, people and their conversations too, are put on hold, once I’m writing something, or planning to write something, no matter how simple or trivial it may sound, when I sit down to write its, me with mu notes app or a pen and pad that stays with me, all alone, and with that, I can actually be my true and real self…
My two passions, writing and gaming…
(Well most of the time is spend saving for the second one, but, all’s good that brings me peace, from within… Ain’t it…?)
Cheers 🥂
Love Waakiye 🤍 (Won’t be making poems for the time being as they require my full attention and light just came on, and I’m feeling sleepy yet again..)
Waakiye 