No-one will,
you’ll have to understand this;
There’s gonna be someone and if you aren’t prepared for that someone,
life might not throw anyone at you for a long time…
Making you realise the problem,
that your growth happened at a rate slower than what it should have had…
This certain someone can be a colleague,
someone you know from the neighborhood,
someone who you studied with,
someone who you go to the office with,
or someone you saw once and they disappeared from your sight forever,
but they stay in your vision,
they stay on your mind…
What if you were meant to be,
just the way you are right now…?
(Now that’s scary…)
It might not mean that you won’t ever find that certain someone,
but,
It does mean that you will spend a chunk of life alone which you were supposed to spend with them;
All alone;
That isn’t a bad thing per se, but, the moments that you were supposed to spend together, bonding and pulling each other out of a situations that were too much for either of you…!
You had to pull yourself out of it;
and when that happens your instinct becomes that of survival, rather than it becoming of trust and once that happens it becomes extremely difficult to revert back to what it should have been…!
P.S.
Never in my right mind I’d say that your instinct should always be that of looking for help,
but,
It should be a mix of both,
sometime it should be that of fighting/pushing when the situation becomes hard to handle but when it comes to your S.o. It should be that of affection, kindness and love…!
But,
that doesn’t happen automatically,
It comes from trial and error,
You act/react and learn the right way and then it becomes the norm…!
Circling back,
When you find yourself all alone at such times,
it makes you feel no one is made for you and you aren’t made for anyone…!
And this mindset kills any hope that you have for yourself or someone else;
Making you feel bad, sometimes worse when you are rejected and when that happens one of two things are triggered;
Sadness and its loop taking you down
or
Anger and its loop transforming into rage and getting into your head…!
From an external point of view the latter is worse where a person develops a feeling to show someone their place by using force;
But,
equally is bad the first part where a person pulls themselves down making them feel worthless and after a tipping point ending it all…!
The type of fight matters,
is it with self and the feeling that come back to you like a spiral staircase…!
or,
is it with what someone said and you planned otherwise and you want that to be the final outcome…!
A thought that roams this mind so freely that it bugs me…!
Taking a day off today due to bad health…!
This fever is going to be the end of me as all of my joints hurt like I have been beaten very hard…!
Cheers 🥂
Love Waakiye 🤍
