Well, I am not, recovering from a fever that went down last night, and flared back up this morning, and this afternoon after waking as the power went off.. THRICE, In a matter of couple hours, sweating myself off, and now, its 2:33 as I’m writing this one, still feeling sleepy, and waiting for light to come back on, so, I can upload this one in peace…
And now, the things that I’m passionate about…
Have you ever seen someone, do something that they’re passionate about, they don’t, They cannot give a single thought about who or what they’re surrounded by, it would be a chest full of treasure, and they won’t bat an eye…
That is something called as being passionate..
Well, the only thing that I’m more passionate about after this writing is Gaming…
Do you believe when you see a full gown adult, following gaming as his passion, it seems cringe to many from all walks of life..
I’ve seen people call me crazy and tell me, I’m just wasting my money when I save for something like an upgrade of a part, or simply save to buy a game that will be coming out soon, but, when people see this, hear about this, all they imagine is a child, whose clicking clacking at the remote or the keys of the keyboard…
But, all of this comes after writing, all things, people and their conversations too, are put on hold, once I’m writing something, or planning to write something, no matter how simple or trivial it may sound, when I sit down to write its, me with mu notes app or a pen and pad that stays with me, all alone, and with that, I can actually be my true and real self…
My two passions, writing and gaming…
(Well most of the time is spend saving for the second one, but, all’s good that brings me peace, from within… Ain’t it…?)
Cheers 🥂
Love Waakiye 🤍 (Won’t be making poems for the time being as they require my full attention and light just came on, and I’m feeling sleepy yet again..)
A little late I’m starting to write the prompt of the day, because of the fever that I got last evening, but, everything happens for a reason doesn’t it…?
Do you remember being a child, and having summer vacations, there was nothing better than that ever, you were free (well technically), from studies, you used to visit places of relatives, have planned outings, and very much enjoyed the life, but, as soon as you got out of school, you started to work or went to start jobs, they became the polar opposite…?
Summer season was the favorite when we were a child…
As we start our college, and we find company that is there to stay forever, we attend lectures bunk many of them, and find love in each other’s company, and within all this we find someone who makes us complete, for whom we think of spending this life, the whole life, and when we go out during winter break, to blow off steam during the calm winters to the hills, we find a different version of self, where we act as adults, drinking, being a version of self-that’s new, even to us, we find peace and embrace this, all of this, and when we witness this, it makes us feel the snowy winters are the best, as those were spent with a company that is never forgotten, and those late-night conversations with glass half full, with memories in each sip…
Those cold winter mornings were your favorite, when you became a new adult…
As we age, seasons change, and we find things that we love and hate, but all of this happens, only when growth takes place, when we grow from a place, from here to there to where we belong, and to a place that waits for our arrival…
A luxury I can’t live without, Hmm, it really got me thinking, what are the luxuries that I own and use on a daily basis…
Then the question comes, what are the things that you consider luxuries, do you consider a car or a bike to be luxury, or do you consider a laptop or a phone to be a luxury, do you consider the roof over your head to be a luxury or you consider all of the above things that are basic of the basic things…?
Where I’m from, having a roof over your head is a luxury, but, having a car or a bike isn’t;
having a laptop or a phone isn’t a luxury, but, having enough money to eat daily is a luxury…
What do you think the division of power is? when one side is dying to barely afford 3 meals, and the other generate many times as waste,
One side doesn’t get even the basic of necessities, like water and a place to bath and relieve themselves, but, The other has all of these things readily available at their disposal, whenever they want to;
This type of thinking that sees a stark difference and is willing to make an observation, and an effort to expose those who oppress and keep them in conditions similar, even after working many times compared to others,
This becomes a luxury in my case, As I see and try to make an effort to those who suffer unnecessarily, by helping them, those who want to be helped, and show a genuine need and want to be helped, to be pulled out of this cycle that their generations were trapped in…
A luxury that comes when a silent observant being, sees and processes things differently, when others, they just go and lower their head or avert their eyes to not see, all the wrong that goes on…
MAYBE YOUR LUXURY AND MY LUXURY DIFFERS VASTLY, AND THAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US…!?
Cheers 🥂
Love Waakiye 🤍
A wish, in hope a child, from a family that isn’t well off, imagines…;
A room, an entire room full of toys, as he stares into a passerby’s home, a family that is loving and caring, he imagines, Is all of this his fault…?
Is this his fault, being born, born in a family that works so hard, yet, earns so little, is this his fault…?
Is this dream of a room, a room as big as his house, in which four others live, is this his fault…?
As he sees the crib, in which the child probably sleeps, as big as the broken and unkempt TV stand that we have, which doesn’t even cover a third of the room, Is all of this my fault…?
Being born in a family that’s ridden with debt, a child, another one, that they brought into this world, to curse, to push into something, that isn’t even remotely as close as living good, where diseases are widespread and making past 10 is a blessing, is, is being born, being born in these conditions, in this situation, my fault…?
There are a few things that I love, and most of them are those which help me in living this life, or easing it in some way…
Those things are my phone, my precious laptop, and the bundle of pen and pad with a book that is bound with it…
If it weren’t for my phone, I wouldn’t be able to reach you ever, or these thoughts of mine, you can call it a dependence, but, this sort of relation where the only thing that’s closer to me, is my phone, I mean there are people too, but, that becomes secondary as soon as things start to go wrong, and I’m left all alone to fight battles that are mine, (Which I was supposed to from the very beginning..), so, I usually have a phone, though which I can reach those, and those who want to reach me can conveniently, drop a message, or a call, and we can fix a meetup or talk things over, if the latter isn’t possible, we can talk on call…
A laptop that I bought for self because of reasons that will sound trivial, so, let’s leave it at that, the most I use and spend time with is early in the morning, or, late at night, it has seen me at the most vulnerable, and also, when I was the numbest, feeling nothing at all, laying there just like a deceased, and wishing for a connection, until I found many…
The story of pen and pad, goes way beyond time, When all of this was a dream, and wishing to be someone like this, a writer who is seen scribbling, penning down some thought, or being their usual self, just because there was a want to be heard, not actually dreaming of being famous, but, a dream of having a way with words in which one can easily, and gently portray what goes on within this mind, that someone might find appealing, or might get help by reading it, (of some sorts maybe its peace or satisfaction), because delivering what seems to be a thought and exploring requires, some collection, some recollection, where the pen and pad come in handy, penning down how and what I feel, when I feel…
There are few people who are close to me, and their well-being and thriving is really important to me, so, I try to be, some or any sort of help I can be, until they’re willing to make an effort themselves…
Cheers 🥂 (Happy weekend)
Love Waakiye 🤍
Often, I’ve sat down, With a mission, and things that I keep on me, with me, Sitting neatly, in front of me, waiting to be utilized…
As soon as my phone pings, it’s time to work on the prompt, This body automatically goes into action, Thinking, sometimes acting on impulse, watching a beautiful story pop into existence, a reality that exists come into words, words that are shared to you, all of this world too…
As I close this, or think of, a medley of words still spins in this mind, much of which hits the phone, to be explored, explored later…
The prompt still going crazy as usual, but, this one has me look into the old usernames and the alternate sites that I went through, being a sort of different name and a different vibe that I brought there…
One of the sites that I uploaded my content to, shut down this year in April, and I began writing on it late ’22, so almost 3 years of my content was there, and there I went by a name that was randomly given to me, on adding my details, and that name still sticks to me, As people who became close to me, still call me by that name…
Whereas, this name, Waakiye is much thought on, decided with care and thoughts that go beyond normal, A single word that has multiple meaning beyond languages, It’s meaning much different as we travel across borders, and get a different meaning each and every time, Hence the considerations before coming at this..
The real name that I carry, From birth, there’s no such thing as pure and serene as that, so, there’s no changing that, and the name that you all recognize me by here, Stays on forever…
Cheers 🥂
Love Waakiye 🤍
A word, a name, that lives forever becomes the game…
For years upon years, I tumbled, and got humbled, within a few years, I found myself, A name with limited excel…
A presence of which I became a seeker, and traveled far lands, caught within these walls, called the mind…
So I sought, one day, the writing, these lines, these sentences, these (Waakiye)…
They’ve been, and will be, from the very beginning, till the end of me…
There are constant fears that stay on this mind, bugging it, making it worry unnecessarily, by taking a good chunk of mind and its processing…
Imagine you’re at work, and a random thought comes and interrupts your thinking, sometimes it comes when you’re sitting at your desk, or in a meeting, explaining a presentation, that can be make and break type thing, But, being human, there are many things whose answers are unknown to us, till yet, even with all of the advancements, in the fields of science and technology…
The question in question… “The Paralyzing fear of death and what follows…”
The question whose answer is unknown and shall remain until the near future, but, seeing many from my family taken up by it, and making numerous trips to places like Haridwar, where remains of the deceased are taken and scattered as per our rituals, but, there’s something that even that fails to answer..
WHY, WHY DO WE DIE…?
The fear stays as we watch our elders grow weak, their movements, their agility take fall, they aren’t as strong as they used to be, but, it feels like they are using their remainder, to live, and within a few more years they’ll be using their reserve too, and after that, when we will reach a stage where, their existence will be replaced by us, and our young ones and the cycle shall continue forever…
Maybe, the day we are supposed to leave and go back to the constant, the non-existence of life, or a free space where we reside permanently away from the cycle of life or death, our departure is calculated at the very beginning, so is our birth at the time of our conception, but away from it all, where we live without this fear, the constant fear of running out of time…
Cheers 🥂
Love Waakiye 🤍
Maybe, just maybe, this is how it feels…?
A path that’s darkened, with a door that stays open, waiting for our return, waiting to come back to a place that we left, those whom we left…
Maybe a few moments have passed, as they inquired my whereabouts, where have i been, and with a smirk, I reply, I was just here, went out for a breather…
And, just like that i lived a life, entirety of it, within a few moments, and no-one batted an eye, as we continued to sit in that room, staring at the walls, occasionally talking, letting out a sigh, and someone leaving the room, returning after a few minutes, with changed expressions…
Some faces had dread, some were epitome of happiness, some were neutral, and some had fear that resembled a loss of life or, a broken bone or a severed limb, waiting for their turn yet again…
On this floor, a big hall with uncountable rooms on this side and other side too, stretching as far as eyes can see, with a lift on one side that goes on floors wherever there’s room, last i checked as i went to get a breather, it was returning from floor 1618…
I have, and I can’t get enough of it ever, there are times so hard at moments, where I can’t face the world, But, music was, and all I could do was wrap myself around in its comfort…
There are moments, some dreadful, some joyous, that make up the part of my daily schedule, and living through them becomes a pain, but, a music makes the passing of time easier, by shifting the focus of the stresses off of me, by helping me calm down, and with a calm mind i can look at problems differently, from various perspectives and find an optimal solution, just with the help of music…
I listen to music to feel the emotions that I can’t feel, haven’t felt in a long time, like, there are some tunes spark a sense of intense longing or missing a person from the bottom of our heart, but, that too has its benefits, reminding us of our past and mistakes that have been made, to not repeat it ever again…
During some joyous, extremely happy times like marriage of close relatives, or even enjoying night out with my friends, i have found music to be our partner, to enjoy happy moments, and during it, deepened our bond with each other, finding things that we listen to by sharing them with each other…
I am really grateful for music to exist in the same timeline as me, to which I’ve fallen in love with from the bottom of my heart…
Cheers 🥂
Love Waakiye 🤍
A journey that we tread on, finding things that comfort us, on a path that we set, for ourselves to walk on…
In a dimly lit scene, as these words paint a picture vivid, enough to escape the real one, and live in it;
But, the reality often inescapable, forces us to return, cage our being, our essence, by catching us as we flee…
As we use methods to escape, or feel something, sparking a change, sometimes an inspiration to be a better version of self, or to be a better human overall, and, with that, comes a sense of belief, that it was made for us, a gift from gods, a hymn or a verse, that detaches us, cuts our worries short…
Me opening my laptop to see this prompt while, there are Instagram reels going on my phone, there is a Bluetooth speaker playing music, and there hangs around my neck my OnePlus bullets playing the e-book in my ear, as I switch all of them off but the laptop, staring at this prompt sparking a need to unplug literally, also figuratively…
As soon I turned off all these devices, a noise of sort runs all along, And, it feels like this mind is going to explode, but, as soon as i turn on the soft music it goes away, maybe I’ve become dependent on this, my mind wants something to play in the background to function properly…
Also, about the detachment from the work life, has become a real problem in this world, where more and more managers or those sitting at top tier, need the workers to work hard, harder, longer hours to match their expectations, and when something goes wrong, it’s ultimately their(Workers) blame…
Having been on both sides of the said problem, it’s known that excessive pressures leads to faults and, longer hours make them burn off quicker than they can recover from it, for someone who just got out of a university knowing how to get the work done isn’t aware of it…
How one is supposed to recover from the last days work, pressures and stresses, but, someone who has never spent even a single day working is unknown to the toll it takes on the body, so, it feels like barking up the wrong tree..
So, it’s just that you have to take things on your own hand and provide adequate, evidence the fall in work quality and the overall tiredness, that people go through, which in turn can be regulated by forming unions, which demand equal pay for the excessive hard work that people put in, its a slippery slope as the workers morale drops, which in turn makes the organization crumble…
It’s of absolute necessity that, there are things that are understood by all, a need to be free from the constant pressures, or things that keep you engaged in continuously, form a dependence on that, also, on being constantly under pressure can make you dependent on it too, if there is none chaos follows there too,
SO, a need to detach from things that keep us engaged is absolutely necessary, like being away from devices for having peace of mind, taking up exercise to make the best out of the time that we keep for ourselves, doing breathing exercises, using the days off properly (not working), spending time with family and friends, doing breathing exercises to shift the focus from your soul…
For those addicted to devices, put a lock on the number of hours you can surf one app, which you spend most of your time on, like I’ve put up a screen time of half an hour for Instagram, and after that I’m locked out for the day, convenient yet frustrating, but, that’s how I’ll learn…
Happy weekend to those who are celebrating..
Cheers 🥂
Love Waakiye 🤍
A fear to fall off stays, keyboard keys clacks, and the sound echoes in the big hall, that is now empty…
As the vision deters, a face appears out of nowhere, telling me to focus on work and keep my head down, glued to the work that, i have to finish…
after a while as my eyes start to give up, a need to was my eyes, a bottle of eye drops is brought to me, which i put in them and start my work…
As i am about to finish, another email reminder pops up, for the presentation that’s supposed to happen tomorrow, no, it’s supposed to happen today, as I look at the watch, timer stuck 1 in the morning, as a notification pops up, “Go to sleep” bringing me a chuckle…
Have you ever made a friend that you’d have to give up later? because this is a proof of either a lapse in your judgment of the type of person they are/were, or, they were easily influenced by things that life gave them for their hard work or sheer luck…
I’ve had 2 friends, the real ones, who go back to middle school, and the type of friendship we have will sound weird…
We can meet one day of the week randomly, and after that we might give each other calls, and meet a month later checking up on each other, getting to know about our lives, well-being of our families, the siblings, the work that they are currently in, involved in, or a general talk of any stresses that we have, we try to…
We do it while grabbing a bite to eat, or over some drinks, that way we can enjoy the time as we get to eat together, all of us coming from middle class families, so we do have a common goal to make it big somehow, but, they’re stopped by the slow-moving money that exists in our surroundings, but, not until long, we are working hard to come up, and with each other backing and support, we will for sure make it big…
The type of quality that we value is honesty, truthful and being absolutely real…
Even if things go south, we know that we can trust each other, put in 100% of our faith in each other’s word, and can stand wherever we need to, just on a single calling, we know we can trust each other without worrying, the other person, because that’s the type of mindset we have…
Cheers 🥂
Love Waakiye 🤍
A path that we walk, knowing the next step that we take, is for the betterment, betterment of the family that exists, with all might as they pull them towards a better life…
With stresses beyond our scope, and to tread a path that isn’t paved, but, has to be made as we step, Step into this fast-paced world…
Often, we sit together when distressed, when stresses take a toll on us, we seek each other’s company, and in it, we find peace, as we hear, each other’s side, a laughter here, a chuckle there, some tears of sadness, a supportive shoulder tap, glass clinking and forgetting it all, after cheering ourselves up…
You’re not gonna believe that I was curled up in my bed, thinking as the clock stuck 00:00 hours, I should read something before going to sleep, (Trying to induce a habit of reading..) As I picked a book from my collection, it was either Khalil Gibran’s collection, or, it was metamorphosis by Kafka which I bought, the night before i.e. Sunday night from a roadside book seller…
Before I could even focus my eyes on the words written on the first page of metamorphosis, It felt blurry, remembering little, the character turned into bug, there was a description, how he looked at himself, who he was, looking at the picture he hung that he cut out of the magazine…
that’s all I could remember, the first page that to barely, I thought to myself, is this the same mind that read pages upon pages during its prime…?
As I put the book in its place, a wall mounted drawer, and tried to fall asleep, but, I couldn’t, I was using 3 devices simultaneously before, my phone checking the messages, getting updates from a brother who’s fighting an addiction, and doing a splendid job keeping at it, Another one, who just came back from giving a competitive exam, and has had a long day, requiring a full day’s sleep to be in working condition again, another one who opened a new office and is dying from traveling as the commute has added 3 hours which he has to steal from these 24 hours…
My laptop for penning down my thoughts and ideas, in the WordPress app, as a few ideas flew by me, one of which I explored last night, and wrote a prose in a language commonly spoken here, about a girl who is held in boundations, and isn’t welcomed by her maternal home, in a setting that is absolutely heartbreaking….
My wireless sound bar, which played one of the favorite playlists that has songs from Panjabi culture, some Hindi songs and Gazals or a collection of old poetry, which brought me immense joy, and every once in a while, a new song would pop in and I’d have to change it, and remove it from my playlist…
Surrounded by these things, I thought of a life before all of this, these devices, these apps, these screens and, it took me back to a time when we had those buttoned phones and nothing more…
I remember, getting bored of playing snake game and then going out to play with my friends in the colony we grew up in, we used to run after each other, play hide and seek, hopscotch because we had these sandstone blocks outside our home, which would make it way easier to prepare and play around, but, those memories were blemishing, maybe I forgot some of it…
We used to wake up early, watch our grandparents light an incense stick in prayer room, after then watching them read the newspaper on the rocking chair, sipping on their piping hot tea, occasionally taking a bite of biscuit or rusk that was kept right next to their cup and saucer…
I remember rushing to take a bath, after that hurriedly chomping down breakfast, it was something light like poha, or a paratha (Indian flatbread with filling), something that we all loved, after that going to school where we used to enjoy our friendship, meeting those who we liked from the bottom of our hearts, some crushes, some whom we adored, and found cute…
Our parents went to their work, father returning home late around 8 or 9, mother returning home early and preparing evening snacks for us kids, and preparing dinner for the people in the house, and finally getting back to bed, late around 11 pm or 23:00 hours…
Occasionally going out to buy sweets like jalebis, or something, never missing the night walk, staring at the starry sky and the moon, as we used to walk back home, tiredness kicking in as soon as we reached home, and falling asleep under, the rotating fan and occasional cooler blowing cold air which turned into hot after it ran out of water, and then replacing it with new water after cleaning it to remove the foul smell…
The respect that we held for our elders and the stories that we heard from their own mouth, that too very keenly, shaping our beliefs and moral compasses, without many distractions, we were able to focus better; and having a genuine relationship because of face-to-face conversations, and learning about our culture and heritage from the word of mouth, rather than having to search google or YouTube just like these…
A time to remember and cherish it was…
Cheers 🥂
Love Waakiye 🤍
Those were the good days, we keep on telling ourselves, as the generation that grew up playing outside, before the technological advancement that made our lives, Easier yet more chaos filled…
Remembering, crying to our parents to play outside, our eyes feel watery this day too, But, seeing the roads empty, break our heart shattering them into little pieces, a history of fun gone, replaced by technology…
That crying before going to school, and the tiredness that surrounded afterwords, that sleeping after coming home, or those time spent, during exam period, cramming everything into this little brain of ours…
Then pouring it all into these exam papers, but, remembering those times brings nostalgia, that keeps us from forgetting those good times…
Going out with our parents after they returned home from work, grabbing ice cream as they talked to each other, worries about our well-being, our school life, and their personal life too, remembering them talking to each other we used to feel happy, that we were blessed with such caring and worried parents,
Waakiye 