There’s no love in the monotonous life that I live,
I woke up early and scrolled some,
go out for a walk,
jot down some ideas,
return home and get ready for work,
leave in a hurried way and return around 9 PM sometimes 10…
With zero will left to live,
I had to get addicted to something…
But the fact that I was tired daily and used something to cope with stress of the life,
It was a mess,
a literal one,
within a span of few years i was addicted…
I was drinking heavily,
the cup was the only thing I used to talk to late night,
and tbh it was soothing,
I used to drink and have food and then go to my peaceful sleep….
But,
that came with a price,
within a few weeks the same quantity didn’t satiate me,
it began with a single additional drink,
and then it went to 4-5 heavy drinks each night,
and with that came nicotine and heavy addiction to caffeine to kill the buzz from last night…
Within a span of few months,
I couldn’t live without the thought of not having something to drink,
or something to smoke…
So,
I began cold turkeying all of it,
there were failures one too many,
some were deliberate,
others were accidental,
like there’s a meetup of friends so we chose to buy a few bottles and then we poured and drank until there were no more….
So,
one day,
just trying to give up,
and losing the battle,
i saw,
my mom staring at me,
“How much more will you drink…?”
not noticing that i just returned home and they used to lock their doors when i began drinking,
they’d only come out after I was in and out (slipping) to tell me the food was getting cold…
So,
just one day,
returning home,
not drinking,
and having dinner with them,
and watching their faces light up,
like a child finding a lost toy,
they began the setting the table and food…
I didn’t know they were having their food all alone in their rooms,
and it hit me like a truck,
so from that day onwards,
I’ve given up drinking and smoking altogether….
Just to see these happy faces,
my happy faces…
(THIS SOBER LIFE ISN’T FOR ALL,
THERE ARE DAYS WHEN I JUST LOOK AT MY CABINET AND THINK ABOUT TAKING A SWIG,
BUT,
ITS MORE THAN TRUST AT THIS POINT OF TIME;
ITS ABOUT THE FIGHT THAT BEGAN FROM WITHIN,
TAKING THE FORM OF AN EXTERNAL SOURCE TO KEEP IT GOING…)
From the glass of water that i have in my hand;
A virtual cheer 🥂
Waakiye 