(Part-1)
I wish I would have known about his drinking habit——
excessive drinking habit before we were married;
He drinks to a point where he becomes a slop,
and is unable to walk or even stand and that brings me immense shame,
no matter how much I say…!
It started from drinking only at the weekend to get rid off all the troubles and stresses that he had at work,
later it was every other day,
and now it has become every day…!
It only became a bigger problem when one day he didn’t have money,
I know there were a few days for the month to still be over,
and,
He asked me for some money;
On asking him the reason why he needed the money,
He told me that he needed to buy something and he didn’t receive his salary in full as there were some days he took off due to some health problems..
(Throwing up after a night of drinking and not having enough energy to go to work the next day…)
I told him that,
I’ll buy him whatever he needs when I go to the market in the evening,
At that time it was 1:30pm and I planned on going to market at 5 in the evening…!
He asked me to give him some money which I refused,
In retaliation,
he struck me…!
It was the very first time I was struck by his hand,
And,
there was shame and fear and anger mixing in my mind,
my face was radiating heat where his palm hit my face;
To which he only said,
give me some money,
I grabbed my purse and threw some money in his direction which he missed and got on all fours and picked up the notes and went outside…!
I was there,
left all alone,
all alone to cope,
to face what just happened to me,
as I stared at my face,
my wheatish face turned red in shame,
and the impression of his palm on my left cheek,
that covered the whole left side of my face…!
I sobbed,
those seconds,
turned into minutes
minutes into hours;
and,
I sat there sobbing,
uncontrollably for atleast a few hours,
before I could get a hang of the situation,
it was 4:45 in the evening…
I looked at my face in that broken mirror that was held together by clear tape,
broken by him one day as he returned home and couldn’t stand and took its support which came down and broke from one of the corners pricking his shoulder and it was a bloody mess…!
We didn’t buy a new one because we planned on changing the whole dressing table which would come with a big mirror;
But,
my hopes and dreams with this guy who I married washed away as I turned on the tap and watched the water go down the drain…!
I washed my face after staring at the water,
and it hit the left side of my face like it was pricking it…!
I lightly tapped my face with my hands full of water and it hurt,
it hurt more than it made me angry now,
as I sat on the can and thought to myself,
is this what I’m left with,
left to be a punching bag,
that takes all the hits and stays shut…!
I called my mom,
She answered my second call and before I could tell anything to her,
she told me that someone saw Ravi(my husband);
drinking at 12 noon,
Outside the liquor shop;
Another time your uncle saw him limping towards your home as he was coming to our house;
She asked,
He hasn’t raised his hand or anything right,
because I don’t know what we would do then…!
These words were enough,
I know no one would be coming to my rescue,
and if something were to happen to me,
I wouldn’t have to call her…!
I’m alright maa,
I wanted to ask abut something,
but I’ll call you later,
he will be coming home soon..!
As I controlled myself,
I cut the call and cried,
cried until I couldn’t…!
………
After drinking a big glass of water,
I went to our bed and fell asleep…!
Hope no daughter has to face this day.
but,
In this world we live with monsters that do this on the daily,
No daughter deserves to be treated this way…!
Love Waakiye 🤍
Waakiye 