What happens when your own desires try to eat you alive?

You’re sitting there,
In the comfort of your own room,
And,
You find your desires,
Pushing you…!

Pushing you in a direction that is opposite of what you wanted to be,
Telling you to send another message to the person who isn’t good for you,
Telling you to spend another hour scrolling short videos on the platform that you like,
Telling you to go on that x rated site and watch more videos just for pleasure,
Telling you to go out to the club and have a drink with people who are complete strangers and maybe get lucky if things go well;

That voice warns you not to indulge in such activities and compels you to quit it and pushes you in a right direction;

But,
Your overstimulated mind,
Registers that voice as a noise,
And cancels it out and pushes you in a direction that is destructive,
And makes you lose a small piece of yourself every moment you catch yourself after indulging and promise yourself that you won’t,
And the next morning you break this so called promise you made to yourself;

Until you find yourself in a pit—
After breaking countless promises to self,
You try and look for a way out,
A source of light,
But,
There’s none to be found;

When you’re surrounded by the choices that made you who you are,
You look at the way you lived your life,
Which makes you feel shame,
sadness and anger at yourself….

It makes you think  how you had the power to change things,
But,
You didn’t,
You just went with the flow and did what people around you did;

And,
When you look at them,
You feel like they aren’t affected by this;

This rise of consciousness from within,
And it makes you question,
Are they conscious or still lying to themselves…?

A dim voice answers from within,

Those people are running a facade that isn’t visible to the naked eye,
But,
They are dying ever so little,
Their indulgence is killing them ever so slightly,
Their dependence on this world and its pleasures with their constant interaction with the factors that shape their life,
Makes them lose their sense each time they choose something that isn’t right,
Or,
When the realisation hits;


The voice that is just and wants you to be normal dimming with each act that is against your moral will,
Until it fades away,
Leaving you alone,

All alone…!

Cheers 🥂

Love Waakiye 🤍